My friendship with Emma is a golden treasure, a genuine soul connection. I met her a year ago in Costa Rica at Alturas Wildlife Sanctuary. She was the volunteer coordinator and was in charge of taking us on adventures. She had to drive a huge van, so 10 volunteers would fit. She would always play music, a real O.G. The first day she took us to the beach at Dominical, she played Hermanos Gutiérrez, and I instantly knew we would become great friends. I was not wrong. I swear she looked like an older sister; indeed, that’s what she became.

            We would always start the day at the common area shouting, “Good morning, girly!”, hugging, and making coffee for each other, discussing our previous crazy dreams. But the day that she arrived at the sanctuary was my first memory of her. Let me tell you that it was hilarious. She was cleaning Tito’s enclosure, the ant-eater, when I heard a loud scream. I had my camera in my hand as I quickly turned around. Her rainboot was being eaten by Tito!

“You just need to grab him from the tail! He won’t hurt. He’s just really curious.” I yelled at her.

“No way!” She screamed back. “He’s scary, ilalo.”

Mmmm, this would be an amazing photopportunity. Should I take it or should I help her? Look at me, all Susan Sonntag over here.

She started shaking her leg very hard, but he was climbing it with his huge, sharp claws.

“Oh my god, he’s not getting off!!”

I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Alessa, seriously, this is not funny!”

“Emma, just grab him by the tail!” As soon as I said that, he let her go. She quickly closed the enclosure and got the hell out of there.

“I hate him,” she said and then we both started to laugh.

            On Fridays, we would dance our asses off at Fuego, a local brewery that had live salsa music. Then, we would go to the Krazy Kinkajou for reggae or techno. Nevertheless, there was a very special night at Rum Bar when she was “DJ SEMBO”, which means “strong”. Everyone was dancing and sweating like crazy. It was such a hype moment because she would have an amazing mix of Afro beats, Amapiano, and techno music. The song that became iconic for all of us was Baianá. Being with Emma was living the present moment to the fullest. I am so grateful for all the life lessons that she was kind and wise enough to share with me. One of the books that has profoundly changed my life is The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron, an amazing recommendation from her. If you haven’t read it, I can’t recommend it enough. It’s a great journey to the spiritual road, to discover your unlocked creativity and self-therapy.

            We would be the most intense and
energetic people, laughing like psychos, and engaging in profound
conversations.

“What is the purpose of this? I need a sign.” I would say as soon as we had our first sip of coffee.

“Me too. Do you ever think that all the decisions that we have made throughout our lives led us to this exact moment?” She would answer back with her singing Maltese accent.

“You are so right. We are living a dream.”

“He’s not texting back. Let’s meditate.”

We’d sit outside her balcony, light a joint, select a divine playlist full of the silver voice artist, James Blake, and watch the figures on the trees. The song that would always headline the rest was Say What You Will. We would get
obsessed with music videos and conversations on manifestation, desires, dreams, goals, and life in general. After two hours of philosophical ping-pong, we
would prepare delicious bread with butter and cinnamon. Jesus, I am craving it so bad.

            As activities for volunteers, we would road trip to waterfalls nearby, hidden in bamboo forests. During the rainy season, we went to a special one, but the road was extremely muddy. Spoiler alert: our van got stuck in the mud, completely downhill. Nevertheless, Emma was such a great leader and started directing everyone to release the vehicle; she was barefoot (fucking hippie) and proved to have fast and furious driving skills. We had our lunch break in front of an insanely beautiful
landscape, made by our professional chef: burritos with a delicious mix of beans, cheese, homemade chipotle mayo, and veggies. Other times, she would take us to the beach so we could have surf lessons. We were both admiring the vastness of the ocean, under an umbrella. We were completely wonderstruck because of our current reality. The volunteers were surfing the waves, while
there was a kid with a yellow shirt, shouting, laughing, and playing with the salty water. We were enjoying strangers’ happiness.

“Imagine that was your life on a Wednesday. Wait! This is our life on a Wednesday!” I said overwhelmed and excited.

“Right?!!” She responded with the same energy.

            We decided to embark on a spiritual journey and immersive experience by doing a guided meditation followed by magic shrooms at a virgin beach called Playa Linda. We took all the necessary props for our trip: blankets, journals, paint, speakers, incense, snacks, and an open mind. We made a playlist called Visions full of Nicholas Jaar
and Nicola Cruz, and prepared the scenario like a survival tent, as we both laid down next to each other. The palm trees were fluorescent green and yellow and the ocean was metallic blue; it looked as if we were on a completely different planet, kind of like Avatar. I looked at her and she was
laughing, she looked like a little kid. I also felt like that. We started to
find everything hilarious. I realized that it felt as if we had known each other our whole lives and since forever. It was as if we had grown up together as cousins or something similar. It was as if Emma was me as an adult and I was
her during her 20s as if we were one. My self-perception was completely diffused as if she could read my mind and I could know her thoughts. A very, very deep level of connection and proof of our friendship. We got up and started to dance to our favorite songs.

“Can you feel the exact joy that I am feeling right now?” I asked her.

“Yes, I can.” She said and hugged me. “Wow, it really feels as if we were one.”

The sand had figures left by sea worms with antique voices, whispering unknown secrets of experience. The sand looked like a desert of golden glitter with HD quality.

“You just need to trust. Life is a dream,” they whispered wisely. I knew my alarm was going to beep soon and I was going to go back to reality at any point, so I needed to live every single second.

Emma joined me in the water and said, “No one will understand, just us: this friendship, this connection. Waijma, how beautiful.”

The clouds were submerging into the ocean, suddenly I was up in the sky, up in heaven. I couldn’t differentiate my euphoric state of mind from my reality, and I felt extremely grateful to be me and to have the life I’d had.

“Oh my god, Emma, I love you!” I screamed as I played with the waves.

“Me too!” She said as we went out to the glittering desert, melting in it. “We are just reflecting all the time. I guess people are on our journey to show us who we really are.”

We went back to our refugee and The Fall from Rhye started to play. Yes, the
song is meant to be for lovers, but we repurposed it for our friendship.

Why can’t you stay?

Ooh, my love

Come home to me

Just for a while, I’ll leave this piece of you

Why can’t you stay?

Don’t run away

Don’t slip away, my dear

Also, it was completely accurate, since she was going to travel to the United States and I was leaving for Mexico, after having shared every second of our lives for five months. We listened to the James Blake song one more time and wrote letters to each other. Sincerely, the letter that she gave has been one of the prettiest and most honest words that anyone has ever written to me. I hold it very dearly to my soul. We were slowly preparing for our goodbye. On her last day, we were both crying and hugging, but knowing that we would keep in touch and meet at some point again.

“We are one. We can never forget each other.” She hugged me one last time and disappeared into Ellen’s car, the most wonderful chef.

            Happy birthday, girly. I miss our bake and art nights. I miss our music, books, emotions, love, and life
discussions. I miss our jokes and laughs, as well as intense tears of
uncertainty. I miss our adventurous hikes and spiritual journeys. I miss our dancing nights at Fuego, Rum Bar, and Krazy Kinkajou. I miss saving wildlife by your side and designing several items. I miss you. We are one.